Description

Tarot Readings

The world is full of mysteries and secrets. Some are revealed, some remain hidden. If you want to know your mutable future, Tarot can help you find answers to most questions.

The Tarot is a divination tool used for a number of purposes: it reveals answers to life’s bigger questions, spoken or unspoken,  and gives advice on how to solve problems that arise in everyday life.  This is done in a five to ten card spread.

There. Now that you’ve read the company line? Let’s get down to business. You don’t want this reading. It’s a trap

 

Lemme say it again: You don’t want this reading. It’s a trap.

I’m serious. You don’t want this. Here are the reasons why:

1. I’m gonna be late.

2. It’s gonna run long.

3. YOU WILL BE READ FOR FILTH.

4. Ya can’t hide your bullshit.

5. It’s gonna be expensive.

6. Ya gonna have to do the homework to get to your best life.

7. Not a single feeling will be spared. You want all good news? Get a reading somewhere else. Bring tissue and possibly the vice of your choice: popcorn, booze, etc.

8. The link to pay me is broken. Meaning? You better transfer that money to my email.

Here’s why you WANT this reading:

1. I’m not gonna leave you with bad news. If we find crap? We find ways to fix it. That could be a second reading to clarify. That could be recommendations for other practitioners and well… HOMEWORK.

2. I’m gonna use WEIRD Tarot Decks. I got a couple that you won’t believe are real. THEY ARE. And? They usually hit you right in the feelings.

3. I’m gonna be straight with you. No smoke blowing. No trying to turn a bad reading around. If I don’t like what I see? I’m gonna Take Steps.

4. I’m not here to upsell my products. Don’t expect me to say “and now you need to drop more money!” Hard pass. If you want to buy any of my Oils, Sprays, Incense or other stuff? That’s on you.

5. The link to pay me is broken. Meaning? You better transfer that money to my email. And? you can always pay me more.

Still interested?