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Tarot Readings

The world is full of mysteries and secrets. Some are revealed, some remain hidden. If you want to know your mutable future, Tarot can help you find answers to most questions.

The Tarot is a divination tool used for a number of purposes: it reveals answers to life’s bigger questions, spoken or unspoken,  and gives advice on how to solve problems that arise in everyday life.  This is done in a five to ten card spread.

There. Now that you’ve read the company line? Let’s get down to business. You want this reading.

 

Lemme say it again: 

You want this reading.

I’m serious. You want this. Here are the reasons why:

1.  It’s gonna run long. I aim for 30 minutes.  I’m a conduit for the power…. and the POWER HAS A LOT TO SAY.  So? It’s gonna be an hour.

2. YOU WILL BE READ FOR FILTH. But I won’t say anything…. to your face.

3. Ya can’t hide your bullshit. Again. I won’t point it out… BUT I KNOW IT’S THERE!!

5. Ya gonna have to do the homework to get to your best life.

6. I’ll try my best to spare your feelings. Look… Life is hard enough as it is..

7. The link to pay me  might be broken. Meaning? You better transfer that money to my email and tip me.

Here’s why you WANT this reading:

1. I’m not gonna leave you with bad news. If we find crap? We find ways to fix it. That could be a second reading to clarify. That could be recommendations for other practitioners and well… HOMEWORK.

2. I’m gonna use WEIRD Tarot Decks. I got a couple that you won’t believe are real. THEY ARE. And? They usually hit you right in the feelings.

3. I’m gonna be straight with you. No smoke blowing. No trying to turn a bad reading around. If I don’t like what I see? I’m gonna Take Steps.

4. I’m not here to upsell my products. Don’t expect me to say “and now you need to drop more money!” Hard pass. If you want to buy any of my Oils, Sprays, Incense or other stuff? That’s on you.

5. I’m gonna send your a digital copy of your reading: it might be a link to a Zoom video. it might be an audio file with pictures. Either way, there’s no excuse for you to say “I FORGOT.”

6. The link to pay me is broken. Meaning? You better transfer that money to my email. And? You can always pay me more.

Still interested?